PusheeKat Diaries 10
December 7thDisaster, Tragedy, DOOM! I didn’t know my life would come to this. They put beautiful Patchy, of the long fluffy fur, the love of my life, that irreplaceable cougar of my dreams, into some kind of large LUNCH BOX with slats and put cellotape around it and then carried her off in a three wheel! I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t really notice her and then I turned around and she was gone…
I spent some time hoodling and howling through the dining room window making the Family uneasy and they shouted at me to shut up, and stop worrying that she would be back. Yeah so they say. They had better be correct.
10.00 am So Im waiting.
1.00pm Its lunchtime .No sign of Patchy.
2.00pm Could not bear the suspense and did some more sniveling and youwling at the dinning room window. No one seemed bothered. No Patchy and No Mistress Ally.What do you think they would have done to my poor darling? And mind you Pitchoo was not at all concerned and had his lunch as usual, if only Patchy knew how little he cares about her and how much I care, she would not favor him, that scoundrel!! I did not eat my lunch today in protest. I don’t know if anyone noticed but I couldn’t .
Im trying to understand what has happened. Apparently Patchy has had a little blob, which is not very normal. So they have to go to the Wet, who has to Hoperate and take away said blob. I don’t know what the fuss is all about why cant hewmans not complicate things and not worry about blobs etc.This procedure even costs a lot of hewman money and they have to take her to a country called Bhattaramulla where all the best wets are. Ally and the Marmar were talking to each other on the long distance talkies and I was listening outside the bedroom window that’s how I know.
6.00 pm
They brought her back sleeping in a cardboard box. She is quite tipsy and did not recognize me and allowed me to look at her. She looked terrible but I was so happy to have her back I had to do more yeuwling. They chased me away with brooms, but I had a spot to look through the windows. They gave her milk and samon. They tried to give her medicine so she clawed them properly so they finally crushed the pills into kudu mixed it in honey and rubbed it on her left backside. That’s because anyway she is so clean and cant stand anything sticky on her coat so she licks it all off, and that way drinks her medicine. Ha ha, devious…
December 8th
Patchy of course spends her time jumping onto things as if she has a lot of important work to do, which is dangerous with the stitched tummy- but isn’t she lovely…shes back , shes alive and my life is all right again….(even if she dosnt notice me)…shes on her way to getting better that’s all I care about ; and if I ever meet that Wet I shall shake his paw oh yes I will !!
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http://colombopetrescue.blogspot.com
NB Pusheekat Diaries are the thoughts of Peechy, an ordinary grey house cat who lives in a hewmie dwelling in Wellampitiya with 2 other adopted strays and a very pompous half Persian princess cat named Patchy. Although he is a cat of very refined qualities she does not return his affection and prefers the company of a thuggish, battered and diseased street cat named Pitchy. This leads to philosophical musings on all sides.
Parenthood Licenses
Whats wrong with this photo, you may wonder? its one of those quick sudden camera phone things and you see a dad with three, repeat THREE helmet-less children, helmetless, racing to school or work... and if you look closely, the feet of the child in front are above the crashbar a couple of inches from those hefty 60mph tyres.
True it takes a few months and a bit of bribery and corruption not to mention some "rustifying" at the RMV to get a bike license...but the
funny thing is that to procreate and produce confused and innocent life is still a choice available to anyone whos gonads are functioning without any social censure.
and in Sri Lanka oddly you can take these life forms around without minimal precaution, on an obviously dangerously overloaded death trap,in rush hour traffic, without even bothering to check where their feet are.
But, Im sure if interviewed the gentleman has a perfectly valid and innocent explanation for this.
I think as usual its women who will have to put a stop to not only the neglect and abuse of children but the unjustified reproduction of offspring that arrive to a world of chaos and injustice on the invitation of misguided humans who think that children are the "done thing"
http://gpso.wordpress.com/2009/12/08/one-womans-answer-empower-women-slow-population-growth-bulletin-of-the-atomic-scientists/
Labels: neglect, overpopulation
PusheeKat Diaries 9
November 30th
Such a shock . Suddenly the hewmies have gone away. I think that perhaps our world is over. I don’t know what to do . I don’t know what I have done. One day they were here the next day they were gone! In that metal chariot, you know. Marmar has given up on us. I couldn’t even eat today . Well, mostly because the food was horrible with the boring harlmassas boiled by the kusssi woman. She never really liked us. But for some reason she came over and gave us all food. That’s all. The house is silent and cold and there are no lights. This is very very scarey.
December 1st
Today also. There is no one! I think the world has ended. Except for the kusi woman. Suddenly I want to throw myself keening at her feet. What if she too forgets us. What are we going to do. We might have to live on rats again. Why did they go? What did we do that they left us here like this ? Where could they be; its very selfish and heartless what they are doing…
December 2nd
Third day without the hewmies. I am almost dying of some kind of unease, it could perhaps be loneliness –Im not sure . True they descended from apes and are generally far inferior to us but they were kind of busy and interesting, they were company sort of and the food was much better when Marmar personally supervised it. Im disappointed. Did I do something bad to Marmar . ? Except for tearing his socks, putting paw prints on his windscreen and marking territory on the rice bags, I cant even think of something properly bad I did to him, anything REALLY unforgivable….
December 3rd
Oh praise Bubastis, they are back today!!! I was so happy I head butted their legs till I lost fur on my head! Oh my dear precious hewmies. They didn’t go away .Life is happy again. They didn’t leave me. They wouldn’t , they know how much happiness they get from giving us nice stuff like saman. I know they cant live happily without us. But whatss this I hear? They went to a place called Yarlar looking for a BIG CAT ?Whats this ? big deal !why do they want a big cat?Dont we do enough damage as it is?I mean we put paw prints on the car, we go and dump in the front yard, and we do a lot of fighting in the night on the roof, to keep them alert, we are much more active than the neighbourhood cats so why do they want a “lepperd” or something. Im daring them to bring one here, I shall not eat at all and I shall claw its eyes. What is this world coming to I don’t know – I don’t want any dirty big cat here apart from Patchy. LEPOD MY FOOT.
Pusheekat Diaries 8
November 24th
The week started funny with some news from Rathmalana. The family daughter called in some hysteria to say that Hish , the teenage cublette had taken out some of his earwax and offered it to the dum kitten (named peach) they have there and what’s worse, the latter has happily eaten it.
There was some serious apprehension there as to what could be the consequences of such an act. I personally wonder about the motivation.
November 27th
I swear Patchi’s knows English, that Mother Tongue of the Queen: this evening we were sitting quietly in the living room pretending we were furniture. But Patchy, who thinks she is special and royalty, just because she has a hairy tail, was making a bit of nuisance of her self in the kitchen.
Then grandmommy who normally starts screaming slightly when cats come too near her, suddenly said “ someone put that Filthy Fellow out !” which was not only a mistake regarding gender and species ( “fellow”)but inaccurate regarding status (Patchy is not “ filthy”) she’s the cleanest of us all as she never sits on the floor and has princess attitudes. Anyway Filthy is the name of another cat they had sometime back)
The words were barely out of her mouth I saw Patchy quietly and smoothly easing herself under the side board ; which is only about 6 inches off the ground and makes it very difficult for anyone to remove her unless they perform the land equivalent of the belly stroke.
November 28th -Attack of the Family Rat….
Oh, the shame of it! Well, we call him the Family Rat because funnily enough, while we are locked out in the cold watching through the windows, we can see him scuttling happily about helping himself to dustbin stuff and fooling about with the soap each night.
This is shameful. I bought it up at a recent meaw meaw , but Patchy ( who is the only one allowed in the night) was not motivated; “ Come on, they can afford one rat” was all she said .I have this suspicious that not only is she completely not interested in doing her job which involves the complete eradication of Rat, but she even approves in a underhand way of actually harbouring them. Disgusting!I can almost see its triangular face gloating out at me through the windows.
I hope it gets glued one day or something.
Patchy Translated..
PATCHYS VOCALISATIONS TRANSLATED
“MRRRP” that’s a positive rendition roughly translated as “You bet!” (in reply for example to a question like “how about some feesh Patchy?) or “Of course” or “YES!!’
“fHAAK” negative audio response usually accompanied by laid back ears and twitching whiskers .Lit: “Back off!” or “ It wasn’t me!” or “Crikey it’s a DAWWWg”
“MRROAWUU” quite negative in for example situations like being locked in the broom closet by mistake. This is a reflex expression caused by the presence of the hedious apparitions of souls of numerous rodents which she had bullied to death in her youth when she actually had had the energy to play with her food.
“PRRRRHH” very positive , last heard in 1998 before any of the stray cats were taken into the house. Usually accompanied by kneading motions and an ecstatic simple minded drooly expression like that hyena in Lion King which chews its own ankles
Patches and a rather ugly hyena ...
Looking for a kind home –Patches and Hyena
These two sorry specimens were discovered in (a dustbin of course in) Mirihana .Please give them a kind home and save them from the impending monsoon if you can.
We will sort the preliminaries. –contact pusheekat@gmail.com, or write to this blog
Pusheekat Diaries 4
October 20thPatchy decided to surprise us all for once and catch a rat. I somehow don’t think it is because she is guilty about the financial burden she is causing Marmar. Im also convinced she did not plan it with the Forethought and Predatory Cunning Coming From Millions of years of Selective Evolution as they say on Discovery Channel. I think the real situation would have been that the rat was drunk and tripped over her front paws by mistake and got tangled in that little curved thumb claw, then Patchy panicked and tried to shake it off and get rid of it and in so shaking, it banged its noggin on the rafters and passed out on the spot. …subsequently lacking anything in the way of CPR it would probably have died of repercussions as they say on Cable TV….
Sigh…
The sum and total of this of course is that it started doing what dead rats do rather well in a tropical heat ie smelling delicately more and more interesting in stages…
I was monitoring this of course. We cats cant see colours, did you know that? Smells on the other hand we sense in technismeller* This particular decomposing rodent smelt reminded me of the cave art of Australian aborigines…very fundamental if you ask me..
October 21st The poor hewmie family of course began to walk around poking behind furniture and acting mighty paranoid. They changed the cushion covers, threw out some rugs and sent the kussi woman to the front shop for moth balls.
Then they had to call in “Bubbee”
This was interesting to watch and Bubbee broke the ceiling a bit and charged them Rs LKR 350/= to get ALL the thick white worms away without leaving any behind as otherwise they fall on the dining table...
I personally think Patchy should stick to being lazy and eating saaleyo and acting her age which is Old.
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Technismeller is the cat equivalent of human Technicolor and we smell dead rats as a very interesting shade of burnt sienna, with whorls of brilliant carmine in the centre like a strawberry roll would look to you. Hm… I think. –
Post card for Centre for Victims of Torture
this is the postcard I designed for CVT , after going through a large selection of their photos; CVT wanted none of the old stereotypes of pain and horror, but rather a vision of forgiveness and hope. Her face has that timeless serenity.
Introduction to Ally
Name: Chandrika aka Pushy aka Aljuhara etc
Sex: Female, but I don’t accept any of the weaknesses attributed to the state.
Age: 38 looks a bit older, but feels a lot younger due to having lived life back to front.
Civil Status : Divorced in December 2004 after 4 years separated mother of two a lovely and cheeky daughter aged 17 who is quite capable of taking care of herself , and a naughty but sweet son aged 12 who likes to cook. The kids however want to stay with me and my mother in law is still a good friend as are all my sisters in law, so they are very much a part of my life and always will be.
Reason for divorce- obscure,but Im pretty sure I was the innocent party as boring as that sounds- I wish I wasnt !
Physical appearance: 5 ‘6’ 68 kg, 38-32-38. fair skinned, hirsute (you wont beleive), frizzy hair(recently straghtened fairly succesfully but still wild) short sighted, a few teeth missing but so far all toes intact. Podgy nose. Excellent behind, I’m told.Have decided to experiment with Fair and Lovely cream on only one side of myself so if its working you will see a definite color difference.
Profession : ACCA finalist works as a Librarian, currently studying graphic design, journalism, web design, Arabic, and a whole host of other generally useless things
Education: till 13 schooled at various foreign schools including Norman Gordino in Kampala and a primary school in Manchester , Lindsay in Colombo, and from then on the world is my teacher. Would love to go back to school.
Religion:Humanist, Buddhist upbringing, admires all religious leaders, disagrees with Islamic ideas of practised degradation of women. (Willing to argue on this topic for hours.) Gets along well with Christians Catholics, and vegetarians. generally terrified of Sri Lankan Buddhists as they have somewhat obscure ethics and tend in my experiance to trample on you in their dedicated quest to stay on the "middle path"...
General Disposition: Cheerful, jovial, indulgent, honest, laid back, sympathetic, broadminded, understanding except where it comes to smoking
Vices : fickle. Dosnt take life seriously no matter how many hairline misses she suffers. Somewhat unhygienic, lazy and occasionally mean to small children, (only if trapped with them.) leaves used tea cups lying around and throws clumps of fallen hair and sometimes used underwear, behind book shelves etc. suddenly laughs and screeches loudly. Jumps to conclusions. Very bad singing voice. Useless at gardening – any plant dies if I so much as touch it.
Advantages : a very good telephone voice, good at soothing massages, anything I touch gets well soon- animals live- Excellent English , sense of humour if understood is guaranteed to bring cheer .does the counselling thing well, if the number of calls I get is any indication..
Likes: Sunshine, clean flat surfaces, sun dried kittens and animals of any type, milk, murunga, vaathathel, small onions, garlic, books and that row of second hand book shops in MacCallum Road, horror movies, Famous Fives, Tintin, Wilbur Smith, Alistair MacClean, Enigma Enya ,Spanish and Arabic Music, jungles, old monuments, a good cuppa tea, travel, writing and my black yamaha .
Dislikes : cleaning up after cooking, stuffed buses, cold rainy mornings , hypocrisy, being restricted ,confined or incarcerated in anyway, being suspected of lying (but to be honest it’s a long time since anyone dared to do so) & government offices .
Odd habits: taking tea and a magazine to the loo, smiling absently at no one in particular in the middle of a crowded bus, dressing in flannel.
Social Habits: avoids parties like the plague, vaguely disapproves of drinking and gambling- strongly disapproves of smoking and drugs, prefers to stay home with good music and a second hand book. Likes to go to temple but not on crowded days. Loves latin dance but not very good at it
Seeking : a partner in crime. He should be : kind , intelligent, honest, a HAPPY PERSON dependable,caring,artistic at least 80 kg and 5’56’’ , preferably mid forties, should be divorced or widowed , preferably with kids, and he should understand everything in the above profile(even the murunga) even if he doesn’t agree. He should be willing to put up with lots of weird unsanctioned laughter and a few hippie friends, and actively support my cat farm and 2 dogs. .. He doesn’t have to have much money but a good bike would be much appreciated. but he must never make the mistake of borrowing money from me because I don’t respect that in a guy. He obviously has to be a person who appreciates good writing. Long hair is ok, dark skinned guys welcome, beards are no problem but nose and ear hair and mustos are OUT. Letters and calls and even meeting a few ex girlfriends will be tolerated even encouraged if it makes him happy. But, lying-never! There is just no need for lying in my home.
Oh and he has to smell nice.
ABSOLUTE ACADEMICS
by aljuhara
I admit I sometimes read the marriage proposals section of our Sunday paper. In fact , with the cost of living as high as it is ,we can only afford one hardcopy newspaper a week and the trick is to make all the waffle last my current weekly reading requirements during those periods of digestive constipation…ok let me admit it I also occasionally half heartedly scan the horizon for a suitable partner..or is that just an excuse to find merryment in unlikely places..?
Im noticing a recent trend now where advertisers for both brides and grooms are beginning their spiel with the obscure and decidedly ungrammatical words “absolutely academically”… either they claim to be absolute academics or are looking for such.(whatever these are) mind you -Tough luck in a country where half the kids failed their O levels.
And to be honest I would not like to spend the rest of my life with an ABSOLUTE ACADEMIC whatever that defines. It sounds quite boring and miserable, a partner with no interest in cookery,karate, fast motorcycles or Latin dance. Marriage to an absolute academic would in fact be a dreadful excuse for life, a fate worse than death… in my books...flies droning in Latin come to mind...
But it makes you think – what is it with this Sri Lankan obsession to be at the top of everything?? Sominona next door advertised and it came below mine nyah nyah
Are you advertising here to spend your life with people who just may give up searching before they get to advertisements beginning with the letter “d” or “f”??
Im thinking, you wake up in the morning and say “ who am I going to marry today” or as the case may be “who am I going to make my daughter marry today” and start by reading all the first adverts beginning with absolutely academic and then your enthusiasm fizzles away and by the time you reach around G/B parents Gampaha district , statistically the chances are that you are asleep drooling on your chest …?
seriously , if that’s the case, folks, we deserve all the desperation we're in!
